just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it's like heaven, but drunker
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
