What did we do last night that was yellow?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
