how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
