I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize