yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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