Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
