dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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