Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
