Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
