can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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