Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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