she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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