On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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