I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
