I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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