U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
