I'm lost and stupid without you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
