Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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