ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
