C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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