so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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