I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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