oh god the rape fog is back!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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