Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
