Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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