Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
