I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
