Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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