You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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