Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize