you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
