I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
