And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
