Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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