even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
