I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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