so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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