He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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