i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
