Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
