I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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