Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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