Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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