ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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