You're my little dorito
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
