The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
