We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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