Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
