Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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