oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
