Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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