I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Everyone says I win the strip club
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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