is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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